Beware, Cuffing Season Has Arrived

When the leaves start turning brown, the temperature starts to drop and men and women the world over realize that they don’t have a significant other to cuddle with during the colder months, you start to see post pop in your social feeds across the internet alluding to this not so new, but surprisingly gender neutral, phenomena. A lot of people call this time of year autumn/fall or winter, but more and more nowadays people are referring to this time of the year as Cuffing Season.

This season is pretty frantic I must say. Men go into the, lie at all cost mode, and are willing to use every line in the book to convince women that they really, really, really want to have a lasting relationship with them.

Around this time of year have you ever noticed that that elusive I can’t be tied down; I need to flap my wings, I’m a be a bachelor for life guy seems to answer every phone call on the first ring. He all of a sudden has more than enough time in the day to do whatever you need/want him to do. Yeah, that’s because he wants to let you know how special you are to him. He just loves the way you want to know everywhere he’s been and where he’s going. He loves to talk on the phone about how crazy your girls are, for real he does! Well at least for the next few months.

Ladies beware; cuffing season is upon you, and all that extra attention that you’re getting is due in direct proportion to a man’s inability to weather the cold months without a hot body to cozy up to when the temperature drops too low.

Oh and another thing, please make them strap up, make sure that these next four months of wild sexing doesn’t lead to a kid with some dude who was just trying to get some for a few months.  Why do you think there are more babies born in the months of July, August, and September? You start cuffing around this time of the year and by December you’re fucking like rabbits in heat and you know how that goes. Condoms can run out quickly and the next thing you know, not only did you cuff her she just cuffed you for 18 years!

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Why I Hate Pit Bull Terriers

Last night, Sept 26 2012 a friend on Facebook posted a story in their feed about a Pit Bull attack that occurred in Texas. I’ve been meaning to write about Pits for a while and I decided to do it now, so here goes!

Pit Bulls are like trained wild animals, they’ll do your stupid pet tricks for so long and then snap and maul  anybody close to it to death. We’ve seen so many, when animals attack videos over the years everybody knows how it goes. The trainer is standing there, doing what they’ve been doing for years with a particular animal, and all of a sudden, snap. The tamed wild animal has a moment of clarity and it proceeds to do what it was born to do, rip a less fortunate animal into shreds. The less fortunate animal being a human being in these cases.

You noticed that I said a moment of clarity, because when a wild animal has been domesticated it has been confused by the trainer/master to think that he, the trainer, is more powerful than the animal. In its moment of clarity, the wild animal realizes that it really has the upper hand and proceeds to freeing itself from bondage. It happens over and over again, to the point that they now have plenty of shows on TV that highlight these occurrences.

I put Pit Bulls in this category because when they snap, they don’t just bite you a little, they maul you, and they go for the kill. They don’t want to leave you alive. It’s been bred into them so much over the decades that it’s impossible to know which ones have the killer instinct. You only find out when you look up and the Pit has a child in its grasp and refuses to let go.

I know that Pit Bull lovers will say, “Other dogs bite more than Pits”, and that may be true, but other dogs don’t try to rip your limbs off or use you as a rag doll. They are the only dogs that will lock onto a person and won’t let go even while adults are beating it with sticks or pipes. They’ll hold on until the pain is so excruciating for them that they have to let go and if it doesn’t get to the point of death for them, they’ll hold on until whoever or whatever they have in their grip dies.

This is what has been bred into these dogs over decades. They  have went from a domesticated animal to a trained wild beast because ignorant dog fighters wanted the toughest of the tough, so they could win money in one of the most inhumane ways possible, dog fighting.

When a dog wasn’t that tough, they were made to be bait for tougher dogs and then they were put out to pastor, ask Michael Vick! The toughest ones were and are treated like stud horses; they mate the toughest most brutal females with the toughest most brutal males and then try to tell us that Pits are the best pets out of all dogs.

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X and the Youth

After watching a documentary about Peter Gatian and how the clubs he owned in New York and various other places were hotbeds for illicit drug sells, one particular part of it made me ask myself a question, and that question is; “Is the uptick in the use of Ecstasy (E, Molly, or X) by young Black youths one of the reasons why so many of them love the horrible violent music that’s out, and have no feelings about taking the lives of their fellow peers?”

After watching the documentary and hearing them talk about how techno music became popular in London and New York on the back of X fueled rave parties it dawned on me, MDMA is a drug used to make you feel happy and euphoric. I’ve never used it myself but I know lots of people that have, and they all say that it amps things up, makes anything that you do that much better, anything that you like a little, great, and so on.

The dark side of X is that it has been linked to decreased levels of serotonin production and can cause increased depression and anxiety if it is abused long term. After too long of use, it becomes increasingly harder to be happy without it and you go into depressed stages when not on it.

So what this is saying is that while you’re using it, you like everything way more than you would if you weren’t using it, and if you abuse it for too long you you’ll find yourself in prolonged unhappy and depressed states that can lead to just about anything.

So let’s take this hypothesis and juxtapose it with the youth of today, and as far back as the mid 90’s.

During the mid 90’s E became popular on the hip hop scene as an illicit party drug. Knowing what I know about the hip hop party scene from back then up until now, I can safely say that there are myriads of songs that I have heard in the club whilst intoxicated that banged and made the club go up, but there was no way on God’s green earth that I would actually pay for them and listen to them at home or in the car. But if I was on that Molly, I’d probably have purchased every crappy club banger from then until now.

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Colorism and Hollywood

Over the past few weeks Zoe Saldana has been thrust into the spotlight in a negative manner due to the fact that she was cast in a movie to play Nina Simone. Through no fault of her own, a debate is brewing across the web about how she (a light skinned mixed Latina/Black woman) should not have been cast to play a dark skinned African American with no noticeable racial mixture! Some say “it’s just a movie”, some feel it’s a slap in the face of dark skinned actresses, and I side with the latter. They’re acting as if there are no dark skinned actresses that are capable of playing the role and filling the seats also.

How about Kimberly Elise, Viola Davis, Anika Noni Rose, or Alfre Woodard. Mary J Blige would have been a better choice than Zoe. They could even get an up and coming actress to play the role, anybody but someone that shows no physical resemblance to Nina at all!

I believe that the producers that cast this movie need to take a step back and do some research on colorism and how this looks through the eyes of Black Women before they proceed to film this project in Oct. We understand that it’s about money and who you think will fill the seats when the movie is released but you’re alienating a huge swath of people that may have paid to see the movie. this type of movie has a limited audience anyway, so alienating over half of the potential pool before you even get started isn’t good business. .

There’s already a petition being circulated on (click here) to have Zoe removed as the lead and if it isn’t done, you’ll probably be seeing boycott Nina petitions when the movie is finally released. Heed the warning now and don’t invest millions of dollars into the movie to only have it flop at the box office. I know that Mr Iovine and Mrs Mort probably won’t listen but it will be to their detriment.

Here’s a question for you; if Terrance Howard was cast to play Elvis, Don Cheadle was cast to play Bon Jovi , or Denzel (no need for a last name) was cast to play Frank Sinatra, wouldn’t that make you feel a certain type of way. Especially when you know that there are plenty of white male actors that could play the role!

15 Reasons to hate on Obama………….. If You’re Ignorant!

1) He’s been married too long, to the same woman – Dude been married way too long to the same chick, I would have been got divorced and married Diamond from the Crime Mob or something, she thick joe!

2) He married his baby mama – This dude be trippin, he marry the chick then get her pregnant. Where they do that at?

3) He got a college degree – How you gone go to college, get a degree, and then get a law degree, when he could have been hustlin that white. Jay Z worth way more money than him and he got the baddest chick in the game wearing his chain.

4) He’s never been to jail – What kind of nigga aint been to jail, his bitch ass prolly a snitch. That’s why he told where Bin Laden was, got that nigga shot in the face.

5) He got money but he not blinging – Dude got all that money but don’t wear no diamonds or jewelry. He a lame, shit I’d have at least 2 Chainz and some quarter sized black diamonds in my ears for real tho.

6) He married a Black woman – Then to top it off he married a black chick. He half black, got money and went to school, why he messin with that Black chick!

7) He doesn’t wear his pants saggin – This cat be walkin around wearing suits, and ties like he somebody. He better get with the program, we gangstas around here, Chitown baby. At least he could let his suit pants sag like Nas did in that video, that was some real shit!

8) He didn’t try to make the NBA even though he can hoop – Man, bruh’s lefty jumper on point plus he can drive to the basket, he should of tried to make it to the NBA and get that real gwap, book money aint got shit on baller money!

9) He not black enough – Dude not even Black tho, he mixed any way, he ain’t been through the struggles that us Blacks been through. Man Jesse and Al marched with King, they should have been the first black president. His mother white anyway and he lightskinnededed!

10) He won’t cater to a black agenda – He won’t tell us what his Black agenda is, he need to let us know what he doing for us, cause he aint did shit for me!

11) He aint said nothing about reparations yet – Dude aint said nothing about reparations, firt black president and he aint even said one word about reparations. He don’t want to give it to us cause he aint really black!

12) He aint got a pitbull – What kind of dog is that any way. A bitch ass dog, he should of got a Pit or a Rotweiler. That shit would be cold, the president standing there with a blue pit, cholly that right there!

13) Air Force 1 aint on dunks yet – He could have at least put Air Force 1 on some 30’s or 40’s or something, like on Soul Plane, that’s some boss shit!

14) He should have been painted the white house black by now – Man if I was in the white house the first thing I would have did was paint the white house black. It would have been the black house niggas, with a basketball court on the front lawn, man I would have been throwing card parties and err’thang!

15) He should have picked jesse Jackson as his running mate – Man if he would have picked Jesse Jackson, if they kill him then it would be another black man to take his place, see that’s some smart shit!

If you didn’t recognize this as satire, kill yo’self……. seriously! 🙂