1) He’s been married too long, to the same woman – Dude been married way too long to the same chick, I would have been got divorced and married Diamond from the Crime Mob or something, she thick joe!

2) He married his baby mama – This dude be trippin, he marry the chick then get her pregnant. Where they do that at?

3) He got a college degree – How you gone go to college, get a degree, and then get a law degree, when he could have been hustlin that white. Jay Z worth way more money than him and he got the baddest chick in the game wearing his chain.

4) He’s never been to jail – What kind of nigga aint been to jail, his bitch ass prolly a snitch. That’s why he told where Bin Laden was, got that nigga shot in the face.

5) He got money but he not blinging – Dude got all that money but don’t wear no diamonds or jewelry. He a lame, shit I’d have at least 2 Chainz and some quarter sized black diamonds in my ears for real tho.

6) He married a Black woman – Then to top it off he married a black chick. He half black, got money and went to school, why he messin with that Black chick!

7) He doesn’t wear his pants saggin – This cat be walkin around wearing suits, and ties like he somebody. He better get with the program, we gangstas around here, Chitown baby. At least he could let his suit pants sag like Nas did in that video, that was some real shit!

8) He didn’t try to make the NBA even though he can hoop – Man, bruh’s lefty jumper on point plus he can drive to the basket, he should of tried to make it to the NBA and get that real gwap, book money aint got shit on baller money!

9) He not black enough – Dude not even Black tho, he mixed any way, he ain’t been through the struggles that us Blacks been through. Man Jesse and Al marched with King, they should have been the first black president. His mother white anyway and he lightskinnededed!

10) He won’t cater to a black agenda – He won’t tell us what his Black agenda is, he need to let us know what he doing for us, cause he aint did shit for me!

11) He aint said nothing about reparations yet – Dude aint said nothing about reparations, firt black president and he aint even said one word about reparations. He don’t want to give it to us cause he aint really black!

12) He aint got a pitbull – What kind of dog is that any way. A bitch ass dog, he should of got a Pit or a Rotweiler. That shit would be cold, the president standing there with a blue pit, cholly that right there!

13) Air Force 1 aint on dunks yet – He could have at least put Air Force 1 on some 30’s or 40’s or something, like on Soul Plane, that’s some boss shit!

14) He should have been painted the white house black by now – Man if I was in the white house the first thing I would have did was paint the white house black. It would have been the black house niggas, with a basketball court on the front lawn, man I would have been throwing card parties and err’thang!

15) He should have picked jesse Jackson as his running mate – Man if he would have picked Jesse Jackson, if they kill him then it would be another black man to take his place, see that’s some smart shit!

If you didn’t recognize this as satire, kill yo’self……. seriously! 🙂