Women who are in serious relationships usually dread the female friends that some males have. They have this feeling because women don’t believe a man can have a female friend that he isn’t trying to have sex with. Although every woman won’t voice this opinion, pretty much all women believe it.
The ones who are more secure with themselves won’t argue over this situation because they feel like a man is going to do what a man is going to do.The ones who are insecure will argue this topic till they turn blue in the face, and are adamant about there beliefs.These are the ones that get to me. They sit around and throw this argument in your face and then turn right around and have a male friend.
What? Yep, they will have a male friend.
Now ain’t that just dandy, you just told me that men can’t have female friends because they always try to have sex with them and you have a male friend. So how is it that your male friend is just a friend? You mean he didn’t or hasn’t tried to have sex with you yet. But I digress. I know what you ladies are thinking, “but he can only go as far as I let him go. I don’t see him as a lover, he’s just a friend.”
Wow, ain’t that something. If you may remember I have a chapter about how women want there boyfriends to be there friends but there friends can’t be their boyfriends. If you will recall, I stated that for a woman to have a male friend, that male has to appeal to some part of that woman’s idea of what her man would be. There is usually some kind of attraction between the two or he would not be your friend.
So let’s see here, your male friend is someone that you have some form of attraction to, be it mental, emotional or physical, and you have this thought in the back of your mind that’s saying men cant have female friends because they always try to have sex with them.
Are you waiting for him to try to sex you down or are you keeping him around in case you need to “break glass in case of emergency”? It seems to me that you know that this guy wants to have sex with you eventually; you’ve said that men can’t have female friends because we always want to have sex with them, right.
Or is the real problem with this situation the fact that you know that women who have male friends will usually end up having sex with him. Although she will reject his approaches toward her initially, she knows that when she decides that she wants to give it up, he will be there. In order to try to stop this from happening you want to instigate this male female friend argument to keep the man from realizing that it is you that has the hidden agenda. You want to have your cake and his cake to.
This will usually come during her bad times in her relationship, when she gets mad that her man ain’t doing exactly what she wants him to do, (see My Man Don’t chapter) so her solution to this problem is to have sex with her male friend.
As men, we hate the male friend because we know why he is hanging around. We know that he gives you what is supposed to be the inside scoop on why we do the things that we do, but for some strange reason he always leaves out why he is doing what he is doing.
Remember, a friend is someone that you talk to, visit, and kick it with on a regular basis. A person that you share your ups and downs with and they know you like you know yourself. By that definition, truth of the matter is the vast majority of men can not have a female friend. If it’s someone that we are around like that and talk to like that then, yeah I’m going to say it, we want to have sex with them.
I believe this coin goes both ways, because if he stays around long enough and remains your friend long enough, you will find an “excuse” to end up in his bed.
Now ain’t that Crazy!
When the leaves start turning brown, the temperature starts to drop and men and women the world over realize that they don’t have a significant other to cuddle with during the colder months, you start to see post pop in your social feeds across the internet alluding to this not so new, but surprisingly gender neutral, phenomena. A lot of people call this time of year autumn/fall or winter, but more and more nowadays people are referring to this time of the year as Cuffing Season.
This season is pretty frantic I must say. Men go into the, lie at all cost mode, and are willing to use every line in the book to convince women that they really, really, really want to have a lasting relationship with them.
Around this time of year have you ever noticed that that elusive I can’t be tied down; I need to flap my wings, I’m a be a bachelor for life guy seems to answer every phone call on the first ring. He all of a sudden has more than enough time in the day to do whatever you need/want him to do. Yeah, that’s because he wants to let you know how special you are to him. He just loves the way you want to know everywhere he’s been and where he’s going. He loves to talk on the phone about how crazy your girls are, for real he does! Well at least for the next few months.
Ladies beware; cuffing season is upon you, and all that extra attention that you’re getting is due in direct proportion to a man’s inability to weather the cold months without a hot body to cozy up to when the temperature drops too low.
Oh and another thing, please make them strap up, make sure that these next four months of wild sexing doesn’t lead to a kid with some dude who was just trying to get some for a few months. Why do you think there are more babies born in the months of July, August, and September? You start cuffing around this time of the year and by December you’re fucking like rabbits in heat and you know how that goes. Condoms can run out quickly and the next thing you know, not only did you cuff her she just cuffed you for 18 years!
I’ve been hearing a lot of women complain about the fact that men can have one night stands and not be thought of any different, but when women do it they get labeled as loose, or as hoes. It’s always the same criticism, why can’t we do it with no problem, why the double standard, blah, blah, blah?
I’m not going out on a limb here when I say the women who are angry about this double standard have to be loose and feel as if they are hoes by the standard of what people think are hoes.
This one has always been strange to me because it’s basically saying; I want to be able to have sex with anybody, anytime, and with as many people as I want, and I want you to not care about it and treat me like men are treated when doing this same thing. Fair enough, but what you all fail to realize is that just because you think things “should be” a certain way means nothing in the grand scheme of things.
You are trying to convince 100% of men to think the way you want them to think and that’s not going to happen, ever! You may get a small percentage to say it’s cool to have sex with a bunch of dudes and they may treat you the same, but the vast majority are not going to do it.
The NBA lockout over the past few months has had me wondering. Is the NBA a modern day plantation or a fair and balanced medium that helps lots of would be lower and middle class black men become multi-millionaires?
On one hand; I’d like to believe that it has helped 1000’s of black men become wealthy
individuals over the past 50+ years, which it has done, but is it a case of them selling their souls to become rich? Young black men across the nation have been afforded an opportunity to go from a position in the permanent underclass to a position of wealth and prosperity by learning how to shoot a ball through a hoop. It sounds easy when being said, but it’s actually a very impressive feat when you take into account the fact that only 64 job openings become available each year. Then you will see why being a professional NBA player is a coveted position. 64 young mostly Black men vie for these positions every year and some go on to be multi-millionaires and national names. They get a chance to provide for their families, children, and friends for generations sometimes, unless they mess the money up, which a few have done recently. So at a glance, you can’t beat it. You get a chance to become rich, famous and sought after but the price becomes evident when you decide to buck the system.
One the other hand I can’t help but notice that every criteria used to evaluate a
potential NBA player is the exact same as the criteria used to evaluate the
slave when being sold at auction. I can still remember the remarks from the Bulls Continue reading
This a chapter from Philosophical Street Chronic, my second installment in a 3 book series about the state of the 21st Century Black Man, Woman, Child and Community.
As a child you only know what’s inside the home or within the close proximity of your home. This is where your environmental education begins. You imitate what you see your parents do, so if those things are good, then you will imitate good, and if they are bad, you will imitate bad.
So what happens when things that are really bad, are not perceived as being bad by your parent/s? I will use parent in its singular form sometimes for this book because studies have shown that children who grow up in single parent households are more prone to negative societal behaviors, than children who grow up with both parents in the home. This is in no way saying that single parent households can’t develop good children, as I am the product of a single parent home and I am a positive influence on society.