When the leaves start turning brown, the temperature starts to drop and men and women the world over realize that they don’t have a significant other to cuddle with during the colder months, you start to see post pop in your social feeds across the internet alluding to this not so new, but surprisingly gender neutral, phenomena. A lot of people call this time of year autumn/fall or winter, but more and more nowadays people are referring to this time of the year as Cuffing Season.
This season is pretty frantic I must say. Men go into the, lie at all cost mode, and are willing to use every line in the book to convince women that they really, really, really want to have a lasting relationship with them.
Around this time of year have you ever noticed that that elusive I can’t be tied down; I need to flap my wings, I’m a be a bachelor for life guy seems to answer every phone call on the first ring. He all of a sudden has more than enough time in the day to do whatever you need/want him to do. Yeah, that’s because he wants to let you know how special you are to him. He just loves the way you want to know everywhere he’s been and where he’s going. He loves to talk on the phone about how crazy your girls are, for real he does! Well at least for the next few months.
Ladies beware; cuffing season is upon you, and all that extra attention that you’re getting is due in direct proportion to a man’s inability to weather the cold months without a hot body to cozy up to when the temperature drops too low.
Oh and another thing, please make them strap up, make sure that these next four months of wild sexing doesn’t lead to a kid with some dude who was just trying to get some for a few months. Why do you think there are more babies born in the months of July, August, and September? You start cuffing around this time of the year and by December you’re fucking like rabbits in heat and you know how that goes. Condoms can run out quickly and the next thing you know, not only did you cuff her she just cuffed you for 18 years!
Side Note: Men, some of these women are cuffing you too. You think that she wants to fix you a hot meal and rub your back every night. I bet that glass of Yak and beer hit the spot didn’t it. Do you think she really wants your smelly, I just finished hooping for 6 hours and came straight over shoes in the front room making her entrance smell like the garbage shoot.
You ever notice that for some reason around this time of year she’s okay with you hanging out a little longer with the fellas or she tries to give you a little more space to “watch the football or basketball game”. You’ve been cuffed, sir.
Yeah women cuff too homie, she’s just trying to keep you feeling good about the relationship, it’s too damn cold out to not have a cuffing buddy. She’ll let you have your space to make sure you don’t want to find another cuff buddy for the next few months, but as soon as the temp goes over 60 there’s going to be a change of heart with all that you time. Hot meals and back rubs become TV dinners and “I ain’t no masseuse” being shouted from the other room.
So be it man or woman, you may be getting cuffed right now and don’t even know it, so watch out!